if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize
