ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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