You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
