i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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