yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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