Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
