I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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