Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
