They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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