Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
