Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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