My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
