Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize