I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
