did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
