So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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