I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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