I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
