The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
