You're my little dorito
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
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I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
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Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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