you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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