Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
birth control should be required to get into college
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
