oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
