smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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