Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just had sex bonerless
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize