every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
