come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
