Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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