im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
