is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
