It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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