She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just had sex bonerless
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
