Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
