I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
