he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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