He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
