i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I puked a lego.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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