I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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