Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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