I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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