How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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