My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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