That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize