I accidentally burped into my bong.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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