Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
