These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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