you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Barsexuality is the new black.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
