my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's never too late to be topless.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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