you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
