I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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