My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
