my mouth tastes like poor choices
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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