THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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