can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
