Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
