we have officially lost it.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize