don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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