I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize