you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
