But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
