i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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