the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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